Saturday, May 22, 2010

Google, Pacman, and the Enemies of Fun

You might think Google dropped a bomb on some small country or fed small kittens to snakes. Today, there is a lot of noise about Google's method of celebrating the anniversary of Namco's Pacman, which today turned 30.

I'm glad I don't work with all of the naysayers and complainers and whiners on the Internet who obstinately declare that they're now changing their search engine to Bing! What's funny is that deep down inside in the depths of their subconscious, they've had this burning desire to do so all along.

Microsoft has really been beating Bing into our skulls. Whenever I turn on the television, I see references to it in pop culture. On Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, and other television programs on the CW, the main characters made several references to it and even used "Bing" as a verb. This is what savvy marketing people refer to as "brand awareness" while in reality it's just brainwashing.

You people that are complaining about Google putting up an interactive widget aren't really angry at Google. You're angry at yourselves for being too stupid to understand how to use a computer, and as any psychologist will tell you, you're using displacement to redirect your anger at yourself onto Google for actually thinking that something that was meant to bring joy was a virus. You're using this moment as the excuse you've been looking for to run to Bing.

Brainwash successful!

To the complainers out there, the world isn't going to wait for you. It's moving on with or without you. I'm warning you now, you'd better catch up or you'll be standing in the unemployment line in 10 to 20 years, complaining about how your job went to India or China or someone much younger and with more drive than you, and you'll be bitching about how both your life and the the government both suck.

I am really exited to hear if the grass really is greener on the other side in Bingland. As for me, I'm sticking with Google. I'm staying on the cutting edge where life is more exciting. Why, because you can't please all of the people all of the time. If you want to be spoon fed and treated like the whiny infant that you sound like, then go to AOL or Bing. Good riddens, I say! Google's products and services will only get better if they market them to people with open minds who are willing to experiment. They're better off without you.

As for anyone coming out of college or anyone looking for a job, here is some unsolicited advice:

  • You can tell a lot about an employer by looking at the tools they use. If they support Google and openness and get really excited about new technologies, chances are you're really going to enjoy the environment and the people you work with. In that organization, you'll be important, and you'll make a difference in the world. Most importantly, you'll have a lot of fun while you do it.

  • Now, if they support Microsoft or ban a specific technology because of some ridiculous moment of hypoglycemia, lack of sleep, and confusion, then I suggest you run the other way. Well, unless you are the enemy of fun and like working with a bunch of stiffs who get hypertension because they spent money on virus software today instead of spending it on taking a computer class like they should have years ago.

In summary, I really enjoyed the Friday break. So did many of my coworkers. I feel really sorry for all of the people who were offended by something so non-offensive. Go back to your stone knives and bearskins.